they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
