I think my vagina is haunted
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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