Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
