Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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