Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
