GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
