Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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