im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize