Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize