I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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