and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
