In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
