Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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