I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
