U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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