i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
