im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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