I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
