I'm really into asian looking animals
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
