wanna go halves on a baby?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
