problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
