is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
then he tried to convert me to islam
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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