Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
