smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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