So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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