i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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