I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
