ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
