i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
