The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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