who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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