I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
