Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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