Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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