I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
