my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
pray to the hookup gods
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
