Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
