..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
