Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
