remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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