Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
