I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you have feelings for this penis?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
