Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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