Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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