So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
