the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So many bounce houses so little time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
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