I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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