there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
