Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
