Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
