I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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