shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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