a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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