I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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