Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's great music for shaving your balls
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
