She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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