Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
