Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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