I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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