You don't have asthma, your pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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