is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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