sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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