you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
